you can blame me for the rain... for the last 3 days i've been listening to one of my favorite cd's which just happens to be called, "songs for a rainy day..." so it's probably my fault... i'm just so into songs about rain right now...
i'm also very into gnomes... i even got a new gnome bag that i carry as a purse... it says "have a nice day" - i mean it... i really hope you do...
i went to driving school the other night... it keeps a ticket off my record... so i'm down with that... a lady was explaining a scenario and said (exact quote)... i like merging well... "i think it's important to merge well..." i have to say that i agree with her... i love an appropriate merge...
i went to my first lacrosse game tonight... a few of my girls were playing on opposite teams... i don't know much about lacrosse, but maybe that will change over the next few weeks... i'm pretty amazed at their skill...
i've gone mad for march madness... i love this time of year... i love checking the scores and my brackets... i don't ever really have a great bracket... but i still love it... maybe it's the chance to be competitive without actually playing anything...
i don't know why i haven't gone home yet... it's way past time... so i guess that means i'm out!!!
Mar 2, 2007
only God can judge you, ruth... back off joshua
i don't know why i have always been a big fan of going out for lunch... maybe it's because i like the break in the monotony of a day... my a.d.d. has never been a big fan of routine...
there's nothing better than an outdoor lunch in the spring or fall. sun shining with a blend of gentle breeze... the contrast between the sun beating down on a leg or an arm, almost burning, mixed with a wind that will chill to the bone... there's nothing like it...
it seems that lately people have felt the need to engage in small talk with me. complete strangers feel compelled to comment on the weather or the length of the waiting line or the food selection. it happens to me a lot when i'm at lunch alone. i always thought i was more unapproachable than that (not something i'm proud of, just something i thought about myself)... maybe they think i'm lonely... maybe they lead lives of quiet desperation, too... maybe they're just nice people... today i liked her accent and were i not so set on being a loner, we might have become friends... maybe not...
i am nervous about the upcoming months... new challenges can be exciting and they can also be terrifying... today, for me, it's as blended as the sun and wind during lunch... i've never been so excited to potentially do what has brought me more joy than anything i've done since i moved to nashville, even if it's only 5 hours a week. i've decided that i will put all of the effort i can muster into it, even though all of that mustered effort should be applied toward the other 35. it's just new (sort of) and exciting (really).
at the same exact time, i'm terrified of failure and disappointing those who expect so much of me. what if they have taken a chance on me and i fall completely short of their expectations like i have done so many times before with prior expectation holders.
i've been thinking a lot about Ruth since Sunday... how, when she pledged her devotion to Naomi and Naomi's God (Yahweh), she was promised nothing in return. there was no hope or promise for anything other than a rough life of picking up other's leftovers and depending on the mercy of the community...
i've never been one to want to rely on the mercy of someone else and i hate leftovers...
ruth diligently served her dead-husband's-mother with unwaivering obedience and faith. even to do what seemed ridiculous...
because of God's faithfulness and Ruth's obedience, Ruth was given more than enough... even if it was only in the amount of leftovers she could gather... He didn't stop there... she was given more than i'm sure she could have ever imagined...
i struggle sometimes with feeling like i don't have what i want. we know the end of ruth's story... with Ruth, not only an honorable husband was provided, but a family and a place in the direct lineage of Jesus Christ.
how willing am i to struggle, knowing i am not promised anything and to remain faithful and obedient, regardless of the outcome? and not for the outcome... simply because God was faithful first, because He loved me first, because of His goodness, His mercy?
God, teach me to love leftovers and to not be "too good" in my heart to diligently serve others by picking them up... help me to hear what people are saying to me, even in the small talk... lead me to love others the way You love... sacrificially and unconditionally...
there's nothing better than an outdoor lunch in the spring or fall. sun shining with a blend of gentle breeze... the contrast between the sun beating down on a leg or an arm, almost burning, mixed with a wind that will chill to the bone... there's nothing like it...
it seems that lately people have felt the need to engage in small talk with me. complete strangers feel compelled to comment on the weather or the length of the waiting line or the food selection. it happens to me a lot when i'm at lunch alone. i always thought i was more unapproachable than that (not something i'm proud of, just something i thought about myself)... maybe they think i'm lonely... maybe they lead lives of quiet desperation, too... maybe they're just nice people... today i liked her accent and were i not so set on being a loner, we might have become friends... maybe not...
i am nervous about the upcoming months... new challenges can be exciting and they can also be terrifying... today, for me, it's as blended as the sun and wind during lunch... i've never been so excited to potentially do what has brought me more joy than anything i've done since i moved to nashville, even if it's only 5 hours a week. i've decided that i will put all of the effort i can muster into it, even though all of that mustered effort should be applied toward the other 35. it's just new (sort of) and exciting (really).
at the same exact time, i'm terrified of failure and disappointing those who expect so much of me. what if they have taken a chance on me and i fall completely short of their expectations like i have done so many times before with prior expectation holders.
i've been thinking a lot about Ruth since Sunday... how, when she pledged her devotion to Naomi and Naomi's God (Yahweh), she was promised nothing in return. there was no hope or promise for anything other than a rough life of picking up other's leftovers and depending on the mercy of the community...
i've never been one to want to rely on the mercy of someone else and i hate leftovers...
ruth diligently served her dead-husband's-mother with unwaivering obedience and faith. even to do what seemed ridiculous...
because of God's faithfulness and Ruth's obedience, Ruth was given more than enough... even if it was only in the amount of leftovers she could gather... He didn't stop there... she was given more than i'm sure she could have ever imagined...
i struggle sometimes with feeling like i don't have what i want. we know the end of ruth's story... with Ruth, not only an honorable husband was provided, but a family and a place in the direct lineage of Jesus Christ.
how willing am i to struggle, knowing i am not promised anything and to remain faithful and obedient, regardless of the outcome? and not for the outcome... simply because God was faithful first, because He loved me first, because of His goodness, His mercy?
God, teach me to love leftovers and to not be "too good" in my heart to diligently serve others by picking them up... help me to hear what people are saying to me, even in the small talk... lead me to love others the way You love... sacrificially and unconditionally...
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